No Exit Plan from This Altitude

head stuck on loop again sparks in sweet molasses try
not to think about work but still think about work b/c
if not that then what? what else? like unpack & pack
a suitcase filled with sweaters try to make room
when there is none & whenever you are late for
the plane you say it will be ok a lot of the time
it is true but also sometimes it is not & I find
the subjectivity of it all exhausting it all being
a reference to me &/or how I am feeling generally
&/or in a specific moment which I am supposed
to share more often w/ others & for the most part
I feel so out of touch w/ nature like all I know is
the panic before flight like got to run don’t know
how & is it possible to be bored & terrified
simultaneously? I esp. love the documentaries on wild
life photographers & slow creeping ice I like that
sometimes there is classical music sometimes there is
someone to tell me why everything is happening the way
it is why the pride takes down the elephant how
thoughtless & wild it becomes when there are too many
to run from w/ their hunched bodies dark against the light
off the wet bank it feels like there is nowhere to run to
again no exit plan from this altitude sometimes they have
to keep the tape rolling hr after hr waiting for something
to happen & maybe there will be someone to tell me

                                                        why we are happening
to say it’s ok go to sleep & the brain will parrot back
it’s ok it’s ok but it’s hard to believe what you hear

*

E J Cousins lives, teaches, and writes in Denver, CO. Their poems have appeared in, or are forthcoming from, Denver Quarterly, The Laurel Review, Copper Nickel, Bombay Gin, Hobart, The Collapsar, and elsewhere.